Session Date: 08/17/2024
The Party (w/o Valentine)
Wilkesmont is the home of the Bandit Lord Miklos Jakab, this is a city ruled by the him and as such they are aware of how bandits think and work, so they have a thick wall around this small town and there’s guards before the large city. Opal comments on the crime here and this is in the River Kingdoms, which is the home for basically all of the rejects that don’t want to go up tot he far north.
The guards stop us at the gate and Opal greets them flamboyantly and mentions he just wants a bath, with Ria saying that we’re just travelers passing through. The guard doesn’t really buy it, and Opal starts asking if he doesn’t bathe? The guard rolls his eyes and lets us in.
The city itself is relatively clean and we find an inn called The Charming Rogue. Outside of there is a handful of rogues that are lithe, all doing the charming thing together.
Valentine
While the rest of the party was shunted over to a different planet, Akiton. He’d cut through all sorts of creatures and is finally at the warlord. The warlord, Johhon, praises Valentine and says that Valentine has captured his heart, and Valentine shall rule with him at his side as husband and slightly less important husband.
Valentine says that he doesn’t think Johhon isn’t less important, and then a portal opens beneath him and he falls through.
The Party
The portal opens above Opal and Valentine falls. Opal tries to catch Valentine but trips and falls into the mud, and Ria easily catches Valentine. Valentine asks what’s going on and Opal immediately begins to act like he totally meant to fall in the mud and starts doing pushups, and Valentine asks if Opal works out now. Killian says absolutely not, and Opal hops up and starts to overwhelm Valentine with things, including trying to show Valentine the scar he got from the clown dimension.
Ria suggests we get a room so that we can talk and explain what’s going on. The bartender is an incredibly tired looking woman that the patrons call Mama, which she fucking hates. We ask for the three rooms that are available and Valentine pays with a weird bracer he brought back from wherever the hell he came back from.
Valentine and Opal go and take baths and then we sit down and eat. Valentine explains that there was so much where he was from, and he has no clue why they were fighting. It’s all they were doing, it’s all they do. He explains that there was a war and that they were so big, and the names were so hard to pronounce.
Ria mentions that Opal went to the clown dimension, and he explains that he ended up in another place? He woke up in a cage and there were sharks and he was in a circus. He was a special —
Valentine cuts him off and asks if his family captured him, and Opal says no, he wasn’t in Hell.
Opal continues to say that he thinks he was one of the main pamphlets, and it didn’t have his name on it because nobody asked his name. He then shows the scar to Valentine and talks about the sharks and how he almost died, and then he met god??? He explains that he met a phoenix woman that was beautiful, and he thinks that she did something to him, but he ended up showing up here.
We continue to talk about this and eventually a woman that does not fit the vibe of this establishment walks in: she has glasses, her hair is back in a bun, and she has more of a teacher vibe. She comes and sits with us uninvited, and Opal greets her.
She is Melissa Vemilo, Esquire - a lawyer. We deny needing a lawyer, but she feels otherwise: she produces a small object and sets it on the table. Little red lights swirl out of it and go to our forehead, the largest of which is before Yuna. Melissa says that we have apparently broken laws.
Opal knows that Melissa represents Cheliax - this is a country backed by demons, essentially. Opal can tell this woman is fleecing us, and she has no power here.
Valentine, Ria, and Killian begin to ready for combat, and some others here get tense and tell us not to try anything. Melissa says she can make this go away for 50gp each, and Opal says that we can make a lot of things disappearing, including lives, and then starts to lean into the fact his family is looking for. Opal tries to inflate his importance while threatening to get her in trouble if he gets hurt.
Melissa explains that her boss does not like Opal’s dad - she’ll get a bonus. Opal says that it may not be worth it: she may get a bonus now, but the retribution may outweigh the reward.
She eventually produces a fresh document where the ink is still wet - the hand is shaking when signed, and it basically allows Cheliax law to be binding in Wilkesmount. It’s clear that the mayor had been tortured into signing it. Opal is unimpressed and tells her to find another way to make money.
Ria stands up and shifts into her lion form and everyone’s terrified. We begin combat.
- Ms. Orsa → huge butch ogre woman
- Meow
- Melissa Vemilo, Esquire
- AC: 20
- Scooter → hellhound
- asdfasdf
- Ogre Glutton
- Passive → when damaging enemies they get 1d4 temp hp
- Werebear
- AC: 26
- Retreats after Ogre Glutton, Ms. Orsa, and Melissa dies
Opal grabs the cane from Melissa’s corpse. The staff is an unholy item, so it more strongly effects holy creatures. Valentine throws her legal ledgers into the fire.
The mayor returning acting as if he never signed any documents.